saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
