I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize