On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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