I'm really into asian looking animals
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
