biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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