youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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