two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
