Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
