He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
