Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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