I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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