He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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