if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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