well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
