you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
