Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
