our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
