sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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