I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
