You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
