He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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