Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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