dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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