The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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