we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
