I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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