found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
