..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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