I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
