the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
