We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
