What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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