Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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