I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
