dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
