Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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