You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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