i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
