it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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