mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
