i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
