I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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