We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize