I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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