My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
