Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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