question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
