Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize