Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
