he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
