like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
