Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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