Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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