dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize