how can u be prego again
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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