wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How external is "for external use only"?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
