Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
