she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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