Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Found the puke drawer
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
