So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
