so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
