i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
