is wine microwaveable?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
