Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
