so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
