The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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