i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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